Most of my adult/adolescent life was spent wondering how to be "sexy". Then it hit me, what exactly is sexy?
I know my definition of sexy is this:
sexy(adj): Whatever gets your libido pulsing.
For me, it's a musician. His fingers glide across the fretboard like I want them to glide across me.
Enough about me, this blog isn't about what I necessarily find sexy, but my comments on what others think is sexy.
I asked many people, about their definition of sexy, physically and emotionally.
1. Body: There is no question about this one, obviously ones initial physical attraction appeals to your libido. Most of the ladies I spoke to said they like the muscle mass of the guy, and the guys said they love a woman with hips and a booty. Voluptuous. "Being busty couldn't hurt." It may be carnal, but it was on everybody's list.
2. Personality: Well no duh, but what kind of personality? The personality that screams: Hi, I'm Cassidy and I will rock your world as a friend and in bed! Someone that can make you laugh at something without trying, perhaps. I think what they meant by that is, that they don't want to have all the control, someone that they can actually have a conversation with and not just bang.
3. Musician: This actually isn't me talking. In my land of creative bastards, there is nothing sexier than a musician"glazed in sweat". Most gals(who I spoke to) are incredibly turned on by a guy with a guitar on stage, or a singer or lyricist with a sensitive side. To us creative gals, sensitivity is not weakness, but possibly the sexiest attribute! There's talent on stage, I bet there's just as much talent off stage too, and I sure would like to find out.
4. Intelligence or a Brain: This is an incredible turn-on and goes with personality for sure. "I think intelligence is sexy," or "you know what's sexy to me? A brain." Some people want someone to talk to while knowing that they are the smarter one in the conversation, but most people want to know that they are talking to an equal in intellect. And I guess someone that can match your sick Sudoku skills.
5. Humility: Being able to admit to your mistakes. "Being sexy is definetly defined by being able to admit defeat," one of my ladies said. Being able to say "I'm sorry," and actually meaning it shows a sense of sincerity and says, "hey I screwed up, but I care about you enough to put my pride down to make you happy." No one's perfect, but the sooner you realize you aren't God, the sooner you'll get laid.
6. Putting effort into your appearance: This is important for both sexes. " A girl smells nice, you just want watch her walk by,"one of my men said. Apparently we notice if each other dresses up in a dress or a suit. According to the same guy, putting on some blush or eyeliner implies you care about the way we look to the world. Putting on a makeup mask however, means you're hiding your pretty face and you don't look beautiful, you look fake. A little make-up is nice, a lot of cover-up shows more flaws than you think.
And the most popular answer was #7. "Confident by not Cocky", my buddy Jimmy put this one perfectly. "She knows she's attractive, and walks around like 'I'm hot and you know it,' without being arrogant." Attitude has a lot to do with it. Being sexy comes from knowing you're wonderful without saying "I'm wonderful!" And definetly owning your sexuality, seems to be a huge turn on. It comes from demanding the attention of members of the opposite sex or even the same sex. Negativity doesn't jive well with most people. Even in the bedroom, knowing you're funny and hot and beautiful and handsome makes it all the worth while inside the bedroom and out.
The ATC-ers have spoken.
Cassidy
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