The Friend Rulebook

Recently I've been faced with a dilemma that seemed to be common sense to me. I never thought twice about it. I learned something new this week. 

It comes from the friends you made in college, some of the friends you made in high school, very few of the ones in middle school and the ones you met on your first day of Emilie Christian Day School. 

I learned the most important lesson of  my entire life in my preschool. 

"Treat people the way you would want to be treated." 

This is how I would want to be treated by my friends. And they should expect the same things from me in return. 

  1. Be Honest with me: If I sometimes get on your nerves, tell me, nicely please. If I wore my shirt inside out, laugh with me, not at me. I'm human, I make some mistakes too. Forgive me for my cardinal sin against fashion. Tell me it looks bad so I don't embarrass myself in front of people! 

  

  2. Don't Judge Me: Hey, I don't judge you based on your past. That's not fair. People change. No one's perfect, but it doesn't matter what you did or who you fucked, it matters that you make it right in the future. Your choices are your choices. It's your life, not mine. I don't care if you're a virgin, or a slut, or you dress flamboyantly or weird. You are the person I like hanging out with and that will not change my perception of you.

  3. Listen to Me and be my shoulder to cry on: If I'm upset, I may want you to listen to me complain about it or I may just want to cry and not talk about it. If I'm upset, ask me what's wrong, and give me a hug. It feels like you care. 

  4. Give Advice/Suggestions: I'm still young and stupid! Give me advice or tell me some stories to help make my decision easier and not to make some of the same mistakes. 

  5. Hang out with Me: It seems like a given, but if you're my friend you should want to hang out with me even if the whole gang isn't there. We can have a great time with just us. 

  6. Put up with me/Take care of me in my darkest hour: When I'm upset or being pessimistic, just pull my hair back when I'm puking my guts out. 

  7. Protect Me/Stand up for me: It's a loyalty thing, don't throw me under the bus if someone's bad-mouthing me. Don't join in, tell them to shut their face, I'm awesome. 

  8. Intervene if I'm doing something that could kill me: If i get involved in smoking, don't let me. If I get involved with doing anything like driving drunk, steal my keys. If I do anything like illicit drugs, slap me and take it away. If I'm eating all of your potato chips, take them away. I'll thank you for it later.

I do each of these for my friends, and I expect them to do the same for me. The good ones knew this already. I will fight for you, never judge you, respect you, be honest with you, and help you with your future. The good ones already follow these, and they will be the ones hanging around my entire life. We will be the main characters and the heros, while everyone else will be the villains trying to take down my Justice League. We always win.