Music on Memory Lane

It's funny how a song can put you in a certain mood.  How it can make you happy or sad or pissed off. It's like our own little personal time machine.

There are many songs that were in my childhood that I revert back to, before I really developed my own taste in music. When ever my parents would say no, and I would pout, I got to know the Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want" really well and then I could roll my eyes.

It was a dark night, and we were sitting in  a shiny grey Volvo  outside Hollywood Video, the movie rental place. My parents were returning a movie and I asked to rent another one. They said no, but this is how they said no. my mom came back and they both began singing "You can't always get what you waa-nnnttt, You can't always get what you waaa-nntt, You can't always get what you waa-nnt, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you nee--eeedd," . Then I would roll my eyes. When I hear the very beginning of the song I'm instantly transported back to that time. 

Let's go back in time.

It was May of 2010, and Cassidy Sherman and Andy Zedolik were in agonizing antipication for their high school graduation in early June. They dated for most of their senior year. Since both of them were performers at heart, it would be a sin to not audition for the high school graduation ceremony. After searching and searching for the perfect song, they finally decided on one. 


Save Tonight and fight the break of dawn
 come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone.


 When tomorrow came, it was gone. We became alumni. We couldn't go back to yesterday and un-graduate. 


Practice sessions and the audition were still fresh in my mind. I remember that night like it was yesterday, and it was almost a year ago. We closed the ceremony with our beautiful rendition of Save Tonight. Being on stage, I never wanted it to end. That was one of the best memories of my life. i sang the lyrics like a diva,  Andy played like a god, and I remember practicing for hours, and hours. Being on stage with that kind of crowd was an adrenaline rush like no other. 

Let me push a few buttons, and see where it takes me. Let's skip a few songs and see where I end up.

It was a late August when I auditoned at the Music Box dinner playhouse for one of my favorite musicals. Ever since I saw the movie, I decided, if I ever got the opportunity, I would be in Jonathan Larson's Rent. 


It was a goal I had for myself since I was first ever graced with the soundtrack. If I ever got the opportunity, I WILL be in it. No was not an option. I remember auditioning, i remember getting the call to say I was in. 


It was the first time I ever felt like I earned it, because I was good, and not because anyone else knew me. I remember forgetting my stage position because I was so into what was going on on stage. 


It was my first show that was not a musical comedy. That was the first show I had ever done where I wasn't a  character trying to make some one laugh. That was really difficult. I couldn't figure out how to act serious, but when I finaly figured it out, it was like a lightbulb went off. You are a singer, that's why you're here. Now prove to yourself that you can cry and believe it. That was the frst time I ever believed in my acting. I honestly believed I was sad, and apparently it showed. It was the most fun I ever had. 

Wow, I skimmed through the library and was transported to a time I had almost entirely forgot about. It seems a lot of memories are of me performing. That was my passion in a past life apparently.

I was in 6th or 7th grade. I had made friends with someone who was a singer. She wasn't bad, but I was better. My only problem, I couldn't sing high notes. We sang in the Talent Show and practiced for weeks. Performed in front of the whole school. So she sang high. The song was Martina McBride's Concrete Angel. My verse was 


"The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask, it's hard to see the pain behind the mask, bearin the burden of a secret storm, sometimes she wishes she was never born."


 It was one of the first time I performed, and it sure as hell wasn't the last time I performed on that stage. 

Let's go back maybe five years ago. Wow, I can't believe how long it's been. When I hear Kelly Clarkson, I have too many memories with Kelly Clarkson songs.

  The first time I picked up the guitar, I always wanted to teach myself a song to sing and play. The first song i ever learned was "Behind These Hazel Eyes". That was my goal. I wanted to be as good as Kelly. (I know I'm still not, but I've gotten much better since then.) 


It's been forever since I've played the song. But it was the start of my new performer status. It was necessary if I wanted to be a musician, and from then on I was. I played until my fingers bled. That was a great memory. I think I'll pick up the guitar shortly. I forgot how fantastic Kelly Clarkson is.

Oh Heart, How I've missed you. This was not such a happy memory.

I got so into watching American Idol, I thought I was actually good enough to try out. I remember the song I chose. I thought it would impress everyone. To me, it did. I fell in love with it when I saw Carrie Underwood sing it in season 4. I belted my heart out after hours of waiting in the pouring rain. Needless to say, I'm not a superstar right now, so you can figure out what happened there. Later, I watched that season, and I had  so many people and seasons to come tell me, I could do better, and the thing is, I know I could. I've given up on American Idol. It's full of what "they" tell you to be, or what they want, then you lose your identity. I'm ok with this staying just a memory and not a reality. Then I eventually figured out how I get you alone. 

Oh my, my. How fast time flies. It had been a year or two since I had gotten into listening to the Goo Goo Dolls. My mom thought they were a chick group. My dad and my sister and I were into it. I had my favorite songs, and then one day I saw they were playing at the Kirby Center in Wilkes-Barre, for one night.

Weeks after I told my wonderful boyfriend Andy how excited I was that I would save up, he took it upon himself to buy me tickets to see one of my favorite bands. I remember the card he made me, and he slipped the tickets inside. I remember him with a smile on his face. It was a red card that he made, that said "Happy Birthday Beautiful". When I opened it, two tickets fell out. My jaw dropped. 


That was getting the tickets. Going to the concert was even better than I imagined. 


We sat in the 7th row from the front. I could see the sweat run off of Johnny Rzeznik's face. My eyes were glued to the stage, and I would constantly look Andy in the eyes, when I wasn't looking at the stage. The Goo Goo Dolls have their super lovey-dovey songs that they play, and I would always look at him during them and thank him each and every time.  That officially gave him "BEST BOYFRIEND EVER" status. 

I have memories upon memories that I have stored in my head. Music allows me to enjoy them.