Nice Tats!

Love, Peace, Antiwar, Telephone, Keys, hearts, song lyrics, cheeseburgers, flowers, quotes, cigarretes, family photographs, hookers, dragons, skulls, snakes, birthdays, deaths, survivors, nature have one thing in common. I've seen them all preserved on human flesh in ink.

That's right, I'm not talking taking a pen and doodling on yourself, I'm talking about putting a needle in your skin for hours. I'm talking about hardcore tattoos.

I've had this mentality for a while, but I'm young and haven't lived yet. There's so much I haven't experienced much, I've lived a pretty sheltered life. I've never done drugs, never been drunk, and never contemplated leaving school to become a philosopher. I feel like you need to earn the right to a tattoo.

I was just thinking today, I was almost convinced to get a tattoo tomorrow, because a local shop is having an apprentice do some work. I started to get really excited that I might get a tattoo tomorrow, for a while today, that was all I could think about. 

I was thinking about where it would be, what it would look like, could I cover it up, how bad will it hurt, and I still want to see it... 

I thought about it, and realized it wouldn't be fitting. At least it wouldn't be fitting right now. 

Now I like tattoos, and always thought they looked like some of the most beautiful artwork. . At my college of LCCC-ers, I realize almost everyone has a tattoo! I think it takes a lot of guts to get a needle inside you for the sake of free expression. So score one for the tattoos.

But then I thought, if I get a tattoo, I'm like everyone else. If I don't get a tattoo,  I'm what society wants me to be, tattoo-free.  I can't win. 

Some people view their bodies  as a canvas for art. I think if you are going to have a tattoo, you want it to look awesome! You'll have it for the rest of your life, so you better like it. And hopefully you do, that's why you're getting it. 

Then I thought, I'm not old enough to have a tattoo. I know that sounds stupid, but here's how I figure. I'm 19, I could've gotten a tattoo years ago. 

I'm still young, stupid and naiive. I'm beautiful the way I am with or without any type of tattoo. It's an extension of yourself, something you truly believe in. Then I realized something and posed a question to myself.

 What do I believe in? How do I know I'll have the same mentality when I'm 30, when I'm twenty. Hell, if I do, I will never be open to new experiences. I haven't really had an obstacle that I've had to face that was significant enough. We'll see if I still believe in the same things I do now. If  it was important enough for me to live my life that way, love my life, fight or do something with it's ink worthy. 

So why was it so hard to make up my mind in the first place? Here's why. I don't think I've grown up the way I need to to be able to sport one of those babies. Tattoos to me, embody a symbol, a passion, a lover, a drug. I've encountered symbols, but never one that has a good enough meaning to wear the ink. 

Tattoos should make a statement on who you are, and I haven't really figured out who I am yet, so i can't get a tattoo. 

Yet. 

Stressed Out.

I  was just working on an involved English assignment, that is due Thursday. No, I didn't procrastinate, and wait till the day before it was due. It was assigned today, a 5 page abstract page on each source. Jesus. 

This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't going to outer space tomorrow. 

Usually Wednesday is the day I catch up on my piles of school work for my three courses. Lately I've been doing pretty fine with it, but this week I'm unusually stressed out. So much to do in so little time. Not enough hours in the day. Shiitt. 

It seems to be one of those gripes about life. Not enough hours in the day, not enough hands or arms to carry things, and not enough time to finish all the daily responisbilities. 

The epiphany I just had, is somewhat relevant. Lesson of the Blog: 

      "Stress is a fear of failing." "Why are we so afraid of failure?"

Failure is something that we feel in the moment, for the future. Ironically.  We think we're going to fail at whatever we're attempting to do. But life goes on Cassidy. Take a chill pill.

You're not going to die. Well you will, but not yet, not that we know of anyway. I don't think an earthquake will happen because you didn't finish your math homework or homework for your English class. 

It wouldn't really be failing. Failure isn't the "rapture"--- it's a lesson usually.  

We're not all going to die if I don't get THIS done. You're docked a few points, big fucking deal. I'm not going to blow up by a stick of dynamite.

Just Kidding. 

Well, I can stress out about whatever I want for as long as I want whereever I am, but does it solve anything? 

Being stressed is something everyone has to deal with, so I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who felt they had to go to an audition, do homework and then go to work, or put stress to get something in by the deadline and then write a blog.  There is positive stress, but it usually isn't referred to in a positive way. 

Today's Lesson of The Blog: 

Life goes on.  

Neverland

I was just thinking, being young is beautiful. There is so much beauty in the freedom we get when we grow up.

It's my own house,
My own rules,
my own life.

Now I thought about how someday it will all be mine. Well, it would be, but all that freedom also comes with more decisions, and more responsibility.

Ew, a grown-up word.

If we all developed mentally normally, we would all be interested in the opposite sex, want to have a meaningful career and fun career, and when everything was free. That would be an awesome way to live, wouldn't it?

Of course, that would be too easy.

If I didn't have any responsibility, I would probably hang out with my boyfriend all day long and forget everything else.  I wouldn't have a job that I'm committed to or a family that I was committed to.

A life without commitment sounds even better. Close your ears, it's another adult word.

We make commitments to people, values, morals, jobs, careers, and contracts.

You worked in kindergarten, and your only responsibility was to play in the way your imagination allowed you to. Like Barbie's riding on a horse to save Ken.

In first grade, you are introduced to a necessary evil for the first time, homework. The keyword is homework is work. Now, that doesn't sound like any fun, does it?

Skip ahead to middle school, and your responsibilities are doing your homework and making friends. Usually extracurricular activities are at the top of the list.
The work gets harder, we still lack the adult concept of commitment.

Fast Forward to college. College is where your responsibilities include getting/working a part time job, and you make what we get money. Money buys things. You can't steal, so you buy. Then you choose a "major". Then you make a serious commitment to what you want to do with your life. Now it may seem like a long term commitment, but it really is a short term commitment, but a commitment none the less.

Jump ahead to the time after college, and you finally get a job. You commit to the job, you commit to the world and the code of ethics and conduct. Then you have more and more work to do, and you don't get paid for not doing anything or having no skills, so now your workload ain't easy.

Oops, you met the man of your dreams when you spill coffee on him. Great. Then you fall in love. Oh yay! Now it's time to make another fucking commitment. Get married, have kids, buy a house and yadda yadda. Now you're committed and you can never get out, you can get out of the marriage, but not the kids.

You commit and now have responsibilities of bills, money, and children. Fuck. Ok, so commitments and responsibilities suck.

I wish we could all grow up mentally, without any of the ugly grownup things, like money, responsibilities and commitment. We should live in Neverland, where we grow as people, but never as adults.

But without any of this, life would be boring and uneventful. Nothing worth working for is easy, and here comes another adult world:

Accomplishment.

Englishland

I'm taking three 3 credit courses this summer.

English, Sociology and Life, Death and Dying. Each has their own unique good parts and bad parts, but today the fury that filled my heart came from my smart-ass English teacher who will remain nameless.  I will however, tell you he has a PH.D. which apparently, makes him a credible source.

 Now I like the guy, but he seemed to be insulting my hopeful dreams of some day being a professional broadcaster or journalist.

Opinions are like Assholes, everyone has one. But that's not the point. He pointed out that "You're wasting your time reading a blog it's just an opinion. It's not a cold hard fact."

 Well my feeling to that comment, was this:

If you didn't have one, our country would suck. Everyone would be the same, think the same, and not actually be able to think for themselves at all. Is that what you want, Sir? Well, I'm not down for living in a black and white world. I'm into living in color thank you very much.

 I don't know if this one was on purpose, but Living in Color is A. Elizabeth Baumeister's blog, so I do believe I will give her credit for that even if it was just a metaphor. That too is an OPINION from her perspective and everyone's perspective is valuable, not worthless.

Apparently broadcasters/newscasters and journalists have no idea what they're talking about. And that we have a bias.

Newsflash: Everything has a bias.  We keep our opinions OUT of the news, which apparently he is unaware of.

Apparently news reporters are  just "bimbos" that read off a teleprompter. I'm talking about real reporters. Reporters who wrote the story, researched the story, gathered quotes, and memorized the story. In 15 minutes.There's a handheld camera that's too freiken small to be able to put a teleprompter on that, Dr.

 Writers sometimes only have half an hour to get the accurate info and put it into a story. SOe xcuse me if there's a typo in our work here and there. If there is a typo, I'd like to believe that you can be forgiven. We don't have the time constraints that the scientific community has. We have these things called deadlines.

 Oh, yea, we're not English majors, so sorry for screwing up the MLA format. Wordy paragraphs and parentheses in the middle of the sentence. Yea, that's not (Captain Coolblade 76)annoying. Citing your sources is one thing, but making me try to figure out what (Smith 89) is in the middle of my...what was I saying? . I just lost my train of thought.

Writing is cut and dry. Everything that makes an intersting piece doesn't matter, because no one cares about creative leads,anecdotes, or feelings in Englishland.  Just leave them at the door.

They aren't in print, so let's not take them into account.   It's only boring plain text. Not writing, but TEXT. That makes reading and writing a CHORE, and not a joy.

The other thing that urked me, was that sometimes "journals" of some sort are more credible to a "magazine." This is how i thought of it. And that I think is pure bullshit.

Journals are very specific peice of writing that you only read if you're knowledgable on the subject(s).

Journals are written by experts. They sit on their butts all day with the time in the world to get it absolutly perfect.  50 people read it, because they sit on their butt all day to edit this stuff. There is no pressure.

Magazines are written by writers. Also, deadlines exist, it's due on this day. If there's a typo, so be it. I can't sit on my ass all day showing this to 50 people. I have room for two.

In journalism, you attribute your source. In MLA you write it like a code. In a foreign language. We call this English.

Flirting with frustration is something that I am quite prone to. Stupid reasons for stupid things. Who gives a flying fuck about if there is a comma after the parenthetical citation?

Or was it a period...